Change is inevitable. With the ongoing changes presented by COVID, the change of seasons, shorter days, adjustment to school, and countless other changes, there is a lot to deal with. You may have noticed increasing irritability, decreasing frustration tolerance, and a need for a positive mental health boost in yourself or those around you or both. Here are a few invaluable tips to increasing your family’s emotional wellness through times of transition and adjustment.
Evaluate how much everyone is sleeping and adjust where needed. Good sleep hygiene can make an amazing difference. Insufficient sleep exacerbates anxiety, depression, irritability, adjustment disorders, — you name it. (We won’t mention that a lack of sleep can cause parts of your brain’s synapses to be “eaten” by other brain cells since that’s just scary). Plan ahead for enough sleep. Prioritize sleep!
How are things going with screen time? Some screen time is likely unavoidable for most of us, but if screen use has gotten excessive, increase time with other more meaningful activities. Choose screen time carefully. Most people benefit significantly from decreasing screen time and getting outdoors more frequently where nature can work wonders in regulating emotions and improving mental health. Regular exercise is one of the most amazing natural mood boosts with some pretty great side effects!
How is the diet? Some people are sensitive to dyes, hydrogenated oils, sugars, and other foods. Most people’s mental health can benefit from a diet weighted most heavily with foods that maintain a stable blood sugar rather than fluctuating highs followed by crashes. Eating less sugar, more fiber and more nuts, berries, and vegetables helps mental health. If you like avocados, eat them regularly, some nutritionists say they can help boost mood. Water is also very important to brain functioning.
Watch that self-talk. Are you a friend to yourself? Do you hear yourself saying positive things like “I’m okay; I’ve got this. It’ll work out;” or negative things like “I can’t handle this; this is not okay; I’m not okay?” The mind is extremely powerful and positive dominant thoughts can have anywhere from a subtle to a profound effect on mood. Improve your self talk and see what happens when you are your own cheer-leader.
Communicate. Talking through changes with others can help in navigating change. Detailing expectations, brainstorming, examining pros and cons, and looking for blessings can be helpful in decreasing anxiety through times of change.
Play. Play increases resilience, and decreases stress. The benefits of play are countless and well worth the effort. Find your passions and participate regularly in whatever is healthy, fun, and uplifting for you. This applies at all ages.
Take care of yourself. Children use their parents to learn mood regulation. The better you care for yourself, the better your children will do emotionally. I like the analogy of the oxygen mask. If the airplane is going down you need to secure your own mask before helping others. It is necessary to your own well-being as well as the well-being of those around you. It isn’t selfish. It is critical to your family’s survival and ability to thrive. Prioritize your own sleep. Exercise. Eat right. Engage in the hobbies you love and in meaningful service. Journal. Get into counseling for yourself if you have unresolved trauma that is still harming you. Your kids will benefit and so will you.
Will talking about my trauma in counseling really resolve it?
Talking through trauma may be helpful, but talking alone isn’t the best the counseling field has to offer anymore. Therapy has come a long way in the last thirty years. Now there are many other skills therapists use to help individuals resolve trauma by calming the nervous system and targeting and desensitizing triggers. Issues that used to take years to work through in talk therapy can be resolved in several sessions. It is an amazing honor to help people desensitize and reprocess their trauma and gain relief.
What about kids? How does therapy work for them?
Children learn through play. They also use play to help regulate their emotions. The most effective therapy for children is play therapy. Very few children walk in, sit down, and talk about the things they need to work on. In play therapy there are specific toys and expressive arts that children work with. Children use the toys as their words and feel safe communicating and engaging. They work through adjustments and trauma in an emotionally safe way. It is a miraculous and beautiful healing process.